Cold hands, warm shart.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
