yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
