oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Let's paint friendship bongs
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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