I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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