you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
