She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
