I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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