yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
