If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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