I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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