I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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