When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize