That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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