he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
