apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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