Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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