That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
