Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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