and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
