Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
