No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize