just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
