I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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