I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
