These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
