and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
