he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
