Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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