she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
