I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
