Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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