??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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