I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
