After last night, I could never be a politician.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
