Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
