you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize