My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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