I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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