That's when you crack a 10am beer
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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