It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
