from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
