I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
