so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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