Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
