apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
