like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
