you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
