Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
