you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
