What a fucking waste of an outfit
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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