No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
