Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
