Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
