p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
