well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
