if only i could text you this smell
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
