I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
