smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize