I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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