i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I had to cum in my sink.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize