So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
