It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
