come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
