I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she peed on how many people?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
