I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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