i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
