I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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